Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Customized Advice Column

Yesterday, while taking a break from 'working' at home, my father was testing himself with a New York Times crossword puzzle.
"How do you spell Guillotine?" he asks me; and I have no real clue. At best, I know it has two 'l's in it. He presses on and ask me how to spell nuance, cosmopolitan, and eunuch. I vaguely recall my parents fighting my 3rd grade teacher to let me in to 4th grade, despite my incapacity to spell; and now, I'm an English major. Go figure, right?
It doesn't seem right. I know that none of us were made for specific career pathways, but I can't help but be constantly negating the ones I meditate upon. I started off school as a Philosophy major, then I moved to Arizona to be an Environmental Science major, and I was about to declare a focus in Marine Biology, when I decided that science wasn't really my thing at all, so I would study Adventure Education, or Experiential Education, but actually I wanted to be a Psychology major. I thought I was going to minor in Photography, French, and Theater. I moved away from a town and a school that I loved to be an English major, and now I'm not so sure about that either.
People have told me, time and again, that it doesn't really matter what you major in, its the BA or BS that matter, regardless of the details. These letters would keep doors open for me, provide me with a future, or something else of that degree of bullshit. Any way, it is important for me to go to school, and I won't know that until I'm done with it, and no one who is done with it can really tell me why its so fucking important to them, to me, or to any one else.
The economy sucks, I've been un-employed for three months, taking out loans to pay for rent, dumpstering and stealing food to eat; as a student, I can't get food stamps until I have a job. What a mess. The jobs that I really want (that at least .5 million other Portlanders want as well) want to hire folks that have a BA in Education or a BS in Environmental Science. I want to work outside, with kids, and I have tons of experience working with kids, and teaching people about the ecology of the northwest, but I don't and I will not have those degrees.
So now what? Should I change my major because right now, right in the midst of early spring sunshine, when I am still young and healthy, I want to work outside, I want to sweat and run around, and play with little kids, and be curious with them and learn with them? What if I don't want to do that in two years? What if I get into a horrible car accident and I'm paralyzed and I can't do that any more?
Once I am done with school, what do I want to do? I want to travel, as cheaply as possible. Who said anything about working, careers, or settling down. Gag me. I want to live a crazy life, I want to work all sorts of odd jobs, I want to milk cows in New Zealand, mop floors in Ireland, and teach English in a million Asian countries.

So, what I'm really getting at here, is why are you studying what you are? Why did you major in what you did? Are you satisfied? Would you change anything? Does it matter? What about the debt part, is it worth it?

Against my better charactor and judgement, my narcissistic self really wanted to start a blog. So the rest of me gave in. Its called F.A.Q.; the irony being that I didn't actually know what that meant until about a week ago (thank you, Alexbeck). I thought it meant fact answer question or something like that. In case you don't know, it means Frequently Asked Questions. So, this blog, and you, will hopefully fill me in on everything it is I wanted to know; give me all your answers.
I have always taken comfort in the experienced wisdom of others, what better knowledge is there than personal experience, after all? So, if you have a moment, let me know what it is, that you think.

Thanks.

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